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Twerkin' Girl

I know the “I’m not a grown up and think it’s ridiculous that I ever need to become one” is a pretty common theme for this blog. I mean, the picture for this site is still me in a graduation cap reading “Job Hunting for Dummies” with a six pack of beer sitting loyally by my side. But I can confidently say that picture is no longer an accurate depiction of my life. I can throw away that dumb old book because this girl has a job!

Yes, I have been a nanny previously, but this time I have one of those job where you fill out a W-9 and get taxed and all that good, cool, confusing but semi-grown up stuff. I got a job as a personal trainer at a gym in sunny Santa Monica! If you define a “real job” as one of those 9-5 office jobs, then no, this is not a real job. But if you define a “real job” as one that earns you enough money to support yourself and live a happy life then this is still not a real job. That’s why I’ve also become a Lyft driver. That’s right. TWO jobs that required me to fill out FORMS and get TAXED. So I’m officially on the grid, mother fuckers.

For those of you who don’t know what Lyft is, it’s kind of like a cab service that is used completely through an app on your phone. All the “cab drivers” are just cool people driving their own cars and the whole idea is that Lyft is “your friend with a car.” It takes away the weirdness of a cab, the grossness of a cab (they made me get my seats shampooed before I started – a whole different, terrible story) and strives to make the ride to your destination more fun and comfortable. You can google Lyft and get even more information if that’s something you’re in to. Right now Lyft is under some scrutiny but I am not one to stray away from a good controversy! That’s not true, I have called my mom, dad and brother countless times to make sure that I won’t find myself in any sort of confrontation because we all know how I do with confrontation.

But being a Lyft driver is a pretty sweet deal. It combines three of my favorite things: driving my car, listening to my music and being in control. I’ve met a couple of cool people who I’ll always remember, a couple of drunk people who will never remember me and one fetish party host. Pretty decent ratio, I’d say. I used to be concerned that I would be driving around total weirdos, but even this fetish host was a really nice British guy. He mentioned the fetish party I would be driving him to so casually that I thought it must mean something different in the UK. It wasn’t until his friend got into the car dressed in several different variations of leather with chains, straps, and fish nets that I realized it was the same fetish that we have in America. Honestly, kind of comforting to know our cultures aren’t all that different after all! In the beginning I think my biggest fear was that someone would need to be dropped off at a secluded cabin with no cell reception but now my biggest fear is that I’ll fart in my car right before I have to pick someone up. Kind of a toss up as to which would scar me forever.

For those of you who don’t know what a personal trainer is, you probably need one and can call me anytime for a free session [this is my marketing tool]. Being a personal trainer is a lot like being a nanny. I think of exercises (games) that will teach my client (child) something and hope they enjoy it (don’t cry) and at the end of the day I can always rely on a good high-five to keep them happy.

You know what they say, the more things change the more they stay the same.

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